Michael's Monthly Column "Throwing My Loop" - No. 36
Two kinda’ people…

There’s two kinds of people. There are takers and there are givers. There are anchors on your tail, and there are winds in your sail. They look the same, but they are worlds apart. They live on the same earth, they are neighbors in the same town, go to the same church, and their houses look much the same. They have the same kids and the same horses, but they live in different worlds. I used to be one, now I want to be the other. Which one are you?

Some people who train horses train them in a particular way. They know that horses are bred different these days. They are thin blooded, hyper and over the top. So, the only way to handle them is like your daddy did. You tell the horse what you want, and if you don’t get the response you want, you work until you get it. You can’t let the horse win, we all know that. ‘Cause if you do, the horse will run over you and might even hurt your family. So, it’s best to get things straight from the start. If the horse did everything these trainers wanted him to, things would be different, but you never know what might happen. Best to be on the safe side. That’s one kind of horse trainer, and in their own mind, they are right. There are so many examples, so many horses tell them so. It’s not the trainer…it’s the way horses are these days.

There are some teachers who teach in a particular way. They know that students are not like they once were. Students have lost their respect for authority, and teachers have a heavy burden. If you let the student run over you, you can’t win. We all know that. ‘Cause if you do, then you are not in control, and control is the most important thing. So, it’s best to get things straight from the start. Don’t show any weakness, don’t make a mistake, and don’t let them get the upper hand. There may be some good ones, but they seem to be fewer and farther between every year, and it’s been so long since a good one came along. That’s one kind of teacher, and in their own mind, they are right. There are so many examples, students tell them so. It’s not the teacher, it’s the way students are these days.

There are some supervisors who manage in a particular way. “It’s not like it was when I first started,” they say. “I had to work, these kids these days…they’re not the same.” Workers have lost their respect for authority, and feel they are entitled to a free ride. If you let those people who work for you get the upper hand, all is lost. So, best to show them who is boss from the start. That’s one kind of supervisor and in their own mind, they are right. There are so many examples, the people they work with every day tell them so. They wish things were different, but what can you do with the way employees are these days? It’s not them, it’s the people.

That’s one kind of horse trainer, one kind of teacher and one kind of manager. There is another kind.

And these people look the same, and live on the same earth, and in the same town. They go to the same church, have the same kids and raise the same horses, but they are worlds apart from the others. I was one…now I want to be the other.

Some people who spent their lives working with horses, at some point felt a gentle little “tug” on their spirit. At first, the “pull” didn’t seem real, but later it returned. One day, these people stopped and stood very still and just watched and listened. And the horse looked at them, and both began to wonder. Thinking they were perhaps going a little soft in their old age, these trainers made a resolve to never tell anyone about this strange event, but then to their surprise, they heard others talking about the same thing, some even wrote books about this ‘other way.’ It wasn’t really all sweetness and roses, as horses will still step on you, but there was something different.

Instead of telling, these trainers asked, instead of commanding, they requested and waited. When the horse executed some desired movement, instead of immediately going to the next command, these trainers praised. And they found the strangest thing…because they changed first, the horses around them began to change. Then, these trainers had a new thought, “It was never the horse, it was always me.”

Most all teachers began with a noble goal. And most all teachers drop that dream somewhere along the way. Life gets too hard. But a few (sadly, just a few) stop at some point along the way, and say, “Wait a minute. I went into this work to make a difference, but it’s just not working. What happened?” Then, they ask themselves a magical question.
“What reached me? What did unforgettable teachers do for and to me that made me want to be more?” And then, something strange and wonderful begins to grow. Because the teacher changes first, students around them begin to change. Then these teachers have a new thought, “It was never the students, it was always me.”

So it is with leaders, who once were just supervisors or managers, but they changed. At some point in their lives, they stopped and looked and listened in a new way. “Wait a minute,” they said to themselves, “things are not working like I expected. What happened here?”
Then they asked themselves a magical question, “What caused me to want to help and be productive? What did those special leaders in my life to do to create a better me? Then these people who will later become unforgettable themselves have a new thought. “Oh my goodness,” they say to themselves, it was never them, it was always me.”

Two kinds of people. They look the same, but they are worlds apart. Both are right, both see the world the way it is. The only difference is that one will drag through life wishing things were better and like they once were, and know misery most of their days.

The other will have good horses, students who return with gratitude and people who return their kindness with motivation, loyalty, dedication, and love.


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